My Way of Cooking

So, I've never considered myself much of a cook.  In fact, I've run away from every cooking opportunity that has come my way. But then I got married and discovered that my husband sort of needs my help in the cooking department (gotta maintain that healthy weight!) and so a new talent began to brew (yay for puns).  Now, I'm still no cook, but I am learning and last week I created somewhat of a masterpiece.  I call it Butternut Squash Soup. Very original, I know. And now I will share the recipe.  I wish you the best of luck in your attempt to follow.

Ingredients:

1 Butternut Squash
1/2 medium Onion
Butter
2 cans of chicken stock
Salt
Pepper
Chili Powder
Nutmeg
Cream Cheese
Buttermilk
Mozzarella Cheese

Directions (this is where it gets interesting):

1. You should probably wash the squash. Trying saying that ten times fast.  But if you're like me and are running late for your husband's mission reunion then it is perfectly acceptable to skip this step.  Better yet, make sure there is dirt on it that will make it into your soup. Mmmm. Protein!

2. Cut the squash in half longways and bake at 400 degrees for more than 20 minutes.  I only cooked mine for 20 minutes and it was definitely not soft enough.

3.  While the squash is "cooking" in your oven. Slice the onion and sautee in butter in your pot.  Proceed to burn the onion and make your husband repeat this step.  Add salt and pepper because you realize all recipes call for that.  Rummage through your spice pantry and find two spices that will work together.  Let your nose guide you.  Chili Powder and Nutmeg do not smell good together so obviously they'll taste good together right?

4.  Remove squash from oven.  Realize it is not cooked. Realize you are still late.  Cut the skin off and scoop out the seeds. Gross.  Then chop into cubes.

5.  Mix the chicken stock with the onions and bring to a boil.  Throw in those squash cubes (don't forget some dirt) and pray they cook this way.

6.  When squash is tender, pour entire mixture into the blender.  Don't forget the lid.  Blend until it is a fine liquid.  Realize that soup should be creamy and add cream cheese.  Notice that your husband has eaten most of your cream cheese on his breakfast toast so just add what you have.  Blend again.

7.  Return soup to the pot and reheat. Don't boil.  Notice that your soup resembles baby food more than actual soup.  Search your fridge for a "soupy" agent and find buttermilk. CHECK EXPIRATION DATE.  Good to go.  Add buttermilk until you think it looks like soup.

8.  Garnish with some Mozzarella cheese and you're good to go.

9. Taste test on husband first.  He likes it? Success.

*The events described above did in fact happen and the result was a delicious success.  But if you don't quite trust my way of doing things then pinterest is your place to go for a "normal" recipe.