Ode to A Mama

WARNING:  this post isn't particularly funny or snarky or witty or whatever else you may be expecting but if you want to know true mother daughter love then by all means, continue on.

How do you say thank you to a woman who has given up her life for you? I don't think you can but I'll still try.

For those of you who don't know, a couple months ago in October my mom suffered from a massive stroke.  It happened when she was home alone running--on the treadmill of all places.  It took away her ability to move, to feel, to hear.  In a nutshell it was scary.  She is less than 50 years old.  She's not a smoker.  She was healthy (remember the treadmill?).  She had no high cholesterol or blood pressure.  It snuck up on her when she least expected it and it almost took her life.  But gosh darn it, that woman is a fighter and she decided she needed to stick around.  Looking at her MRI she should be a vegetable at best but if you saw her today you would never suspect a thing.  Doctors marveled and many cried when they saw her.  There were those who were brought to remembrance of God and His hand in all things and more who prayed to Him in gratitude that He didn't take her yet.

It was the first time that I as her child had the opportunity to take care of the woman who had taken care of me these many years.  What a humbling experience to help someone you love who is completely dependent on you.  From doing her hair to fixing her dinner or reading to her I wanted to be there to help her.  From that experience a bond grew between us and made our love and dependence on each other stronger.

A few days after and still a smile on that face of hers.

I'm happy to report that she's still a fighter and continues to improve every day.  She regained movement although her left side is still void of feeling.  She speaks well and walks without a problem.  She's our miracle.

Now with all the craziness of life happening around her including my getting married my mom has yet again turned into a superhero. She never stops going. She never stops giving. She never stops loving. I feel like lately I may have turned into an ungrateful little snot so I want to say thank you mom.  You have always been there for me, and have always had my best interests at heart.  You are my champion and I am forever indebted to you.

Maybe sometimes we don't see eye to eye on everything but love is a powerful thing and it transcends all of that.  It's unconditional. It never ends. I love you.

The woman herself 7 months after.

P.S. Baby you got such great shoes. :)

Happiness is just outside my window

Word on the street is this girl's getting married. Want the details? Read on my friends. Read on.

His name is Preston Byron Alder. He's a Boise boy. I'm in love. You didn't know we were dating? You're not alone.  It all happened so quickly and so perfectly that it could be easy to miss so I'll make sure that doesn't happen.  Our engagement is as follows:

I was leaving for Hawaii in a couple of days and I obviously needed a new swimming suit. He was adamant that he go with me. I was adamant that he should not.  Seriously, who takes their boyfriend swimming suit shopping.  Better yet, who takes anyone with them when they go swimming suit shopping?  He won.  After he suggested that we go to Barnes and Nobles to pick up a gift for his mom for mother's day (my idea by the way). Well if you know me then you know any excuse to go to the book store is a good one even when I've demolished myself whilst shopping for that thing everyone looks flattering in...swim wear.  We walked in and immediately I was healed.  The smell of coffee, the sight of rows and rows of books, and the sound of Michale Buble singing in the rafters was the perfect medication. (Not to mention the handsome man who suggested we go was walking in with me.) We began perusing through the bookstore as one does on such occasions. I was finding my favorite books and smelling them (because I am weird like that) and he was looking for something "special" so we got separated. I soon hear my name being called from across the shop and he tells me to come look at this really cool book about tattoos (not even that cool) when he points to something on the shelf in the art history section (bonus points for placement). It's a cute handmade book titled "The Never-Ending Story" by Preston Byron Alder. I pick it up and look at him wearing a smirk on his face and I whisper (because it is a book store and squealing is usually frowned upon) "Are you kidding me?" He asks if I'm going to read it and so I plop down on a bench and begin reading the sweetest love story of them all--ours. Four chapters outlined the book.  The first chapter began with the first time we met at FHE and encourages all who are reading to attend FHE because it not only strengthens families but it creates them as well. ;) It goes through our courtship and things he loved most about all the time we spent together. He didn't miss a thing. Chapter two is title what I love about Reegan Lake. (That's me in case anyone was confused at this point in the story) Included are hand-drawn pictures of what he loves about me including my hourglass figure (awesome) and my ability to understand and watch sports.  (glad he enjoys them as well) Chapter Three is called why I want to marry Reegan and it is a tender and well-thought out letter about why he wants me to be his wife. The last sentence of the book is, "let's do this baby!" which made me giggle a bit on the inside. Chapter 4 concludes the story with three dots . . .

At this moment I thought I would look up and see him on his knee or he would propose to me there or something but no... Turns out he got a bit scared and there was too many people around (there was people there? I didn't notice...) So instead he says, "Well let's go buy this book for my mom." and we left. Cool. At this point I'm thinking maybe he was just being nice seeing how I was having a bit of a crummy day and I was satisfied with that. :) But then we got to my apartment and opened the door to my main man, Frank Sinatra, serenading us and a beautiful table set up with a nice tablecloth, a candle, some Parisian decorations and of course cupcakes! (Thanks to Bryce for setting it all up) It was at that moment I realized this was it, so naturally I buried my face in my hands and began to cry as any rational woman would do in my situation. I was just too darn happy. When I opened my eyes I saw the thing I wanted most in life--A man looking at me with love in his eyes (is this too sappy? I think not.) He was kneeling on one knee holding a box with my beautifully simple ring and asked me the question. I said yes of course and he slipped that ring on my finger and I haven't stopped smiling since. Frank continued to sing "love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage" as Preston and I danced the night away. We read the book together again and ate a cupcake and talked about what we would do if our kids turned out to be ugly.

And that is the over detailed story of why I am now on a search for which lighting this ring looks best in. 

Turns out happiness is a real thing people! But really I am happier than ever to be engaged to such a wonderful and worthy man. He is everything I could have hoped for and more and I cannot wait until we enter the temple and are sealed for time AND eternity. What a wonderful feeling it is. And so here we go. Let's do this baby.

Jealous yet?

Who said change was a good thing?

I used to think that I could handle change really well.  When it came to moving from Jr. High to High School, I was ready. When I could finally say goodbye to the braces, the bangs and the chubbiness of the awkward stages, I was more than ready, I was waiting.  But now looking at my life and the consistency of change that happens every day I find that I have been lying to myself. Change is not fun.

Yesterday I said goodbye to a dear cousin, roommate, and friend.  We grew up together, we lived together, and we laughed together.  I watched her fall in love and I watched her get married and now I get to sit back and watch her move on to bigger and better things in life and I don't like it.  It was a lot harder than I thought it would be and I haven't been able to stop thinking about how inevitable change is.

My best friend is getting married in a week,  people are graduating from college (what?), my relationships aren't what they used to be with people I love and it feels like the world is crashing down in a huge heaping pile of leftover change and I'm trying to keep from drowning in it. And everyone who knows me knows I'm not good at swimming. What is one to do?

Maybe I'm the strange one. Everyone is up and changing and here I am attempting to keep everything how it was or trying to go back to the way things used to be.  Maybe it's time for me to learn how to embrace life and its uncertainties. To learn to look change in the face with faith and determination and say, "bring it on." Maybe I just need to put on my big girl pants and live.

But how?

Therein lies the question I so desperately need to find an answer to.

Ms. Lake

I got in. It's official. I'm going to be a teacher!!

*More to come.

Now where did I put that?

To you few and "faithful" followers,

As you know, I went on an adventure this summer. An adventure I tell you!! I packed my bags and headed across that tiny little pond they call the Atlantic and did what every art nerd out there longs to do... sit in museums for hours without end and gawk at the god-like creations that adorn their walls.  Unreal. That's the only word I can think of that comes close to describing the experience.  I sometimes sit there and look back and think to myself, "wow, that really happened." It feels like a dream but then all of the sudden it's very real.

Needless to say i want to go back.  I've been home for months now and all i can think about is how in the heck am i going to get back there? I have absolutely no money, no connections, and I sure as heck don't have the needed language skills but I think I may have accidentally left something there. My sanity.  It's gone and i can't find it.  while i was there my worries switched from which boy to choose to which gelatto flavor was the best.  From how am I going to pay for all of this to how am I going to find lunch during siesta.  From minding my grades to minding the gap on the subway.  While I was there i found my sanity and upon returning home I discovered that i had completely lost it and i feel like i should go get it back. probably today.

so who's with me? I've been seriously craving a crepe.

I'm Back.

hello world. I know you've missed me. and by world I mean those five people on my sidebar that claim to "follow" me. oh and of course my mom (love you!).  When was the last time i blogged? a year ago?  maybe not that long but it definitely does feel like that.  I remember thinking "i'm going to blog at least once a week. at least." ha. funny how fast reality comes crashing in on you once you've created challenging and inspiring goals. Like that one time I was going to run that marathon? oops...

Moving on...

It's the start of a new semester (and by start of course i mean we've already been in school for 3 weeks.) and i've made new goals including not neglecting this precious baby of mine.  hopefully. hopefully reality will be kind to me this time around but seeing how it's been acting the past couple of months, I highly doubt it. all that aside, it's good to be back.

I Must...

...get my hands on one of these.

They're called dwarf hamsters and i need one.